New Definations......

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master.

DIVORCE:
Future Tense
of Marriage.

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present.

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage.

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before.

CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read.

SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life.

YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth.

ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do.

COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together.

EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes.

ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions.

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead.

DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip.

OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river.

OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY.

MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature.

CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught.

BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early.

POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later.

DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you.

Install SNMP on UBUNTU Linux

1. SNMPD

SNMPD is the service running SNMP on a managed entity. SNMP comes in 3 versions. Version 1, the one we are going to use here is not secured, therefore we are going to make sure that only localhost is going to be able to access it.
People opening the service to the outside should make sure that trusted hosts can access the service either though the use of iptables or through the use of /etc/hosts.allow.

1.1. Installing the SNMP server

The only package which is required on the server site is snmpd, the SNMP daemon.

To install it type:

$ sudo apt-get install snmpd

snmpd is now installed but we still have to tweak it a little bit to make it work as we want.

1.2. Configuring SNMPD

The first thing we want to make sure is that snmpd is only going to wait for connections on localhost. To do this, edit file /etc/default/snmpd and make sure those values are set:

SNMPDRUN=yes
SNMPDOPTS='-Lsd -Lf /dev/null -u snmp -I -smux -p /var/run/snmpd.pid 127.0.0.1'

If you want your server to listen on all interfaces, remove the 127.0.0.1 bit.

This setting will make sure that the service will be started and that the service is going to bind to localhost.

Finally, we are going to configure snmpd in such a way that it will only return datas to trusted host for a specific community.

Edit /etc/snmp/snmpd.conf and make sure that com2sec it only set to:

com2sec readonly localhost mycommunity

If you want a remote machine to be able to gather information for the community mycommunity, make sure you replace localhost by mynetwork, where mynetwork can be of the form: 1.1.1.1 or 1.1.0.0/16.

1.3. Checking SNMP configuration:

We are going to use the snmpwalk utility to verify that the server is working as wanted.

Here we want snmp to reply only to localhost for the community mycommunity.

From localhost

$ snmpwalk -Os -c mycommunity -v 1 localhost system

Should return a lot of output and:

snmpwalk -Os -c public -v 1 localhost system
Timeout: No Response from localhost

External Links......

http://www.net-snmp.com/

Computer Quotes

1. 'Heard of the new version of Windows from MS ? It is called CEMENT —
CE+ME+NT'

2. 'Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open
windows.'

3. 'Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail.'

4. 'Windows: Just another pain in the glass.'

5. 'A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.'

6. 'What does the Start button do — isn't the computer already running ?'

7. 'Why should I press the Start button to turn the computer off ?'

8. 'Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft
building progress by weight.'

9. 'Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.'

10. 'If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.'

11. 'I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse.'

12. 'Ever notice how fast Windows runs ? — Neither did I.'

13. 'DOS: No serial number required.
95/98/SE: To cut down on casual piracy, enter this serial number.
Win2K: Since that didn't work, it might phone home unless you ask nicely that
it not phone home.
XP: Since that didn't work, it won't activate until you let it phone home.
Don't worry, we won't nuke existing installations.
Vista: Since that didn't work, we'll nuke any box that stops phoning.'

14. 'DOS never says 'EXCELLENT command or filename'.'

15. 'Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take
effect. Reboot now ? [OK]'

16. 'The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.'

17. 'E-mail — When it absolutely, positively has to get lost at the speed of light.'

18. 'Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...'

19. 'Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...'

20. 'Those who can't write programs, write help files.'

21. 'Ooops... My brain just hit a bad sector.'

22. 'If it's there and you can see it — it's real.
If it's not there and you can see it — it's virtual.
If it's there and you can't see it — it's transparent.
If it's not there and you can't see it — you erased it !'

23. 'Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS !'

24. Login: yes
Password: i dont have one
'password is incorrect'

Login: yes
Password: incorrect

25. 'Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users ?'

26. 'This manual says what our product actually does, no matter what the
salesman may have told you it does.'

27. 'Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.'

28. 'The world is coming to an end... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS !'

29. 'Press CTRL-ALT-DEL now for an IQ test.'

30. Users /nm./: collective term for those who use computers.

Users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice Users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their
computer.
Intermediate Users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after
they've just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users: people who break other people's computers.

Mumbai after Smoke

A policeman, shot at five times, holds up his metal belt buckle which saved his life on November 29, 2008 in Mumbai, India.

The interiors of Nariman House, Mumbai headquarters of the ultra-Orthodox Chabad Lubavitch movement, are seen after the commando operation in Mumbai, India, Saturday, Nov. 29, 2008.

Policemen and their families attend a meeting to pay tributes to Mumbai's policemen, in photographs in background, who lost their lives in terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India, Sunday, Nov. 30, 2008.

Mumbai Residents walk with candles in the street near The Oberoi Hotel during a demonstration against the recent terror attacks in the city on November 30, 2008 in Mumbai, India.

MSecurity officials survey a destroyed room inside the Taj Mahal Palace & Tower Hotel after the armed siege on November 29, 2008 in Mumbai, India

The lobby area of the Taj Mahal Hotel is seen in Mumbai, India, Saturday, Nov. 29, 2008, shortly after Indian commandos killed the last remaining gunmen holed up at the luxury Mumbai hotel Saturday.

Indian commandos stand on a balcony of the Taj Mahal Palace & Tower Hotel after they gained control of it, on November 29, 2008 in Mumbai, India.

Photographers and members of the media cover a gunfire at the Taj Hotel in Mumbai November 28, 2008. At the front of the Taj, bleary-eyed journalists who had earlier mobbed National Security Guards chief J.K. Dutt when he announced the end of the siege were pushed back roughly behind a rope that had marked an unofficial boundary for them. Hundreds of media workers dived for cover as stray bullets whistled above them during the final stages of a firefight.

An Indian soldier stands guard outside the Taj Mahal Palace & Tower Hotel following an armed siege on November 29, 2008 in Mumbai, India.

Still Do you need words..................

SALUTE TO REAL HEROES